Post-Meditation Journal Entry #9 and #10

8/5/17, 9:58am-10:02am

All I saw of any significance was a triangle shape, like a logo for a company. If I don’t meditate later today for longer, this part will never get in the blog. But I usually have better luck sitting for longer later in the day.

8/5/17, 5:23pm-5:30pm

I was expecting something too much. I couldn’t concentrate. Although there were a few moments where I experienced something. I don’t know how to describe it but “pleasant in the present”. Some moments go by so fast during meditation, but might as well be forever. They’re full of promise. Like getting the money you’re owed, the money you forgot about, the money you desperately need by the end of the week. And you didn’t even have to ask the person that owed you.

I put too much on myself to experience something more real than real. I’ve been entertaining the idea of blogging my entries and indulging in the possibilities as an outlet for me. I kept thinking about it while meditating. It made my session less honest and I couldn’t sit still.

The mind clings to things and I’m the best at it. I’m so pliable with creativity, but when I have an idea that I think is the answer to my personal problems I can’t adjust in my mind, can’t even see other possibilities, too much pressure to control the outcome, to minimize emotional and psychological damage, the opposite of the present.

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